Rahm Emanuel vows to destroy Jesus

Chicago, IL – For the first time in history Chicago will hold a runoff mayoral election. Incumbent Mayor Rahm Emanuel was unable to achieve the 50% + 1 vote requirement to slip quietly back into the position he has held for the last four years. It appears the finely tuned Chicago machine has lost some of oil and is not performing like the finely tuned Swiss manufactured piece of engineered efficiency it once was.

Rumors coming out of the incumbent camp are that Rahm has his eyes set on destroying Jesus. Sources confirm that Rahm has more money than Jesus and has raised over $15M USD for the campaign. One can only assume Rahm will lean harder on his rolodex of power brokers and the real Ari Gold to drum up Hollywood money to throw at the campaign and achieve his goals.

Emanuel only secured 45% of the total vote which means 55% of the electorate did not vote to re-elect Emanuel. If the challenger, Jesus “Chuy” Garcia can rally Chicago he might stand a chance but then again does Jesus stand a chance against a guy in a five thousand dollar suit?

Do you live in Chicago? Do you plan to vote?

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