“I win Rosie” Trump Plans To Use Federal Powers Against Rosie O’Donnell If Elected

Insiders from the  Trump campaign have said that one of Donald Trump’s primary actions as president  will be to form a small but powerful subcommittee to focus on “Constitutional Subversion”.

This elite hit squad whose member will be hand picked by Trump, endowed with federal power and access to the most advanced information gathering technology available will initially target Mr. Trumps shortlist of personal vendettas and rivals. The list appears to include a number of bankers responsible for his NJ Casinos bankruptcies filings and a variety of celebrities he clashed with over the years while hosting his reality TV show “The Apprentice”  As expected his Rosie O’Donnell also tops the list.

“This new Constitutional Subversion Committee is going to be fantastic, I mean really, really great honestly.  I got great people, I picked em’ so you know there great. They’re great and they’re smart. I mean really smart. They’re great, smart and great for the country. The country needs these smart people to do these smart things for me. You know Rosie, come on people. You know Rosie, you know her. She is a pig and pigs play in dirt and you know what? Now we’ll find that dirt.”

The committee will also condemn and look to prosecute anyone who has ever questioned the authenticity of Mr. Trumps hair. People found guilty of perpetuating false information regarding the subject will have their federally issued  ID’s marked with the letters “HQ” to further identify their status of “Hair Questioner”

The Trump campaign could not be reached for comment.

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