BREAKING NEWS: Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler colorblind

CHICAGO, IL Rumors began surfacing years ago but after their embarrassing loss to the Detroit Lions on Thanksgiving Day Jay Cutler finally came out and confirmed the allegations.

“Yes I’m color blind.  It’s true, I often can’t tell which team I’m throwing the ball to but it (colorblindness) hasn’t stopped me from driving a car or playing quarterback.”

“I try to memorize my go-to guys numbers but in the heat of the moment it’s tough. I’ll be honest if its 15-20 yards out I typically have to use the crowd reaction to gauge if I made a completion or got picked off.”

Cutler refused to get into the details on how exactly he plays the game or how coaches and staff have managed to keep this blatant disadvantage under wraps for so Long.

We reached out to Cutler’s favorite non-Bears target Deangelo Hall of the Washington Redskins. Hall  has a career high four interception game verses Cutler.

“I’ve figured out years ago that Jay is color blind. I simply act like a wide open wide receiver and he throws me the ball, ain’t no magic to my success, dude thinks I’m his man.”

Despite the shocking news Cutler still refuses to take responsibility for leading the league in turnovers. In light of this revelation angry Bears fans have taken up a petition calling for the benching of the color blind quarterback.


funny cutler inset pic


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