Tim Allen ‘Home Improvement’ Noise Banned At Local Zoo

CINCINNATI- A noise best described as the “Tim Allen-Home Improvement Noise” by the board members of the Cincinnati Zoo has been officially banned on the premises. The ban includes both the introductory AEUGHHH? sound and the more common in-episode “grunts” often used in reference to “more power”. Evidently the noise had been used as a provocation among a small but rapidly expanding group of zoo goers. It appears that the noise was imitated a few months back a revealed an alarming response from the marsupials in the Australia exhibit and was then used successful throughout multiple exhibits with almost the majority of species showing some reaction. The effectiveness of the sound went viral and the zoo soon saw attendance swell and the noise repeated ad nauseam much to the dismay of the staff and animals. The newly effected ban hopes to restore order and serenity to the premises. Any zoo attendee caught making either noise will immediately be removed from the premises including responsible guardians.

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