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Five Sex Positions You Have GOT to Try

Summertime is here and love is in the air. Make sure that you’re keeping things fresh in the bedroom with these sizzling sex positions!

1. Enigmatic Embrace:

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Grab your partner, Hold her tight. Love her til’ she can’t, Put up a fight. There are many variations of the Enigmatic Embrace that date back to 15th century Armenia. Keeping a firm grip on your lover indicates you are willing to block them from the harsh elements of weather such as rain, snow, and sleet. Symbolically there are not many other positions you can perform to display that sort of devotion. It is not recommended to perform the Enigmatic Embrace while outdoors as you may be perceived as a robber.

2. Mouth Kiss:

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Kissing on the mouth signifies mutual respect. Obviously, use as much tongue as possible. Make it a point to try to breathe straight into your partner’s mouth. In theory you and your partner could exchange one breath, back and forth, for an infinite amount of time. Do yourself a favor and make sure to practice your kissing techniques on any animals around you; they can help you get your skill level up!

3. Tickle Time:

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Tickling is very in right now. Having a well-rounded tickle session with your partner is the most meaningful way to send the message that you care about their needs. Don’t confuse tickling with diddling which is a much more taboo sexual position that is not yet accepted in our culture

4. Suck on them butts:

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This is a more advanced sexual position. You don’t need to suck on your own butt like the woman above! Ideally you will be sucking your partner’s butt, while they are doing the same back to you = Butthole Suck 69. Always perform this position while standing and never perform this position after having eaten a chumbucket of crawdads.

5. Penile Penetration

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Ladies, shut your eyes for this one; this tip’s just for the fellas. Guys, if you’re ready to spice things up in the bedroom then you’ve got to try this one. When the time is right and the mood is perfect, insert your penis in your lover’s vagina. She will flip her lid! Make sure to never make eye contact while performing this position. Try to remember for her sake that there should be zero movement while in the midst of this position. Pretend that you are a giant, lifeless slug on top of another slug. The duration for this maneuver should be approximately seven hours – anything less than that would be dangerous to the health of both parties involved.

 

Hopefully these tips help improve not only your lovemaking, but every aspect of your lives!

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