Area Man Uses Private Dumpster To Hide La Croix Abuse

CHICAGO- ” I don’t even care about the garbage men knowing anymore, its more my wife and kids than anything.” said James Smithe. He has been systematically dumping large bags of trash containing dozens of empty La Croix cans all over town for the last few years. The local Best Buy dumpster has received more then its fair share of Smithe’s trash over the years.  “It really got bad when I got my Costco membership. I don’t even care about flavors anymore, Cran-Raz, Lime, Pamplemousse, hell even Pure sometimes. It’s gotten really bad. I drink it before work now, right after my coffee. I don’t want to even think about my what my life will look like in six months. Seriously what the fuck is natural flavor even?”

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